Finding the positive . . .

I went to my first tournament back in 1987. It was an ATA tournament. I was a green belt, about 14 years old. I was competing in forms and sparring. I don't remember much about my form, but I do remember the sparring match: a quick and decisive loss to the guy who eventually won 1st place that day. I didn't get hurt, well not physically, but remember being very nervous, anxious . . . and yes - I'll say it - scared.

My second tournament was also as a green belt. It went pretty much the same way: other guy won - still scared. Not a very successful way to get my tournament career going, right? Well if you consider success as winning a first place trophy, then no. But let me tell you about why it was a success.

Time to get philosophical on you. Here goes:

You and I know that when we move outside our comfort-zone by challenging ourselves with difficult tasks, or trying new things, or going forward even though we're afraid, we are growing as a person, learning about ourselves, and building the framework of future success! How do I know this? Books tell us, successful people tell us, (your mama probably told you, too) and I bet that if we go back and think about those "outside of my comfort-zone" experiences, we'd find that there was something positive that came out of it. I'll be the first to admit that it doesn't feel like it when it's happening. But, usually after time has passed and a new similar experience comes up, we remember that original experience (our feelings, our actions, and our results) and somehow we're able to get through this new experience a little easier: we've grown, we've learned, we've built up something inside us that helps us to keep going. Sometimes the positive that we get from an uncomfortable experience is blatant and very useful. At other times, just knowing that it "didn't kill ya" is good enough . . . and just as useful!

So what about my great tournament start? Well, after those first two tournaments I didn't compete again for a few years. Why? Maybe I was scared or had just gotten turned off to tournaments? Or maybe that "positive" just hadn't been realized yet, or was growing inside, or just wasn't manifesting itself yet? When I did start competing again in tournaments, it was as a Black Belt, at the ATA World Championships. How did I do at this glorious return to competition? Zero in forms - Zero in sparring. Nothing it seems had changed - but wait (insert proverbial lightswitch) - something had changed. Don't know what it was, but this time, I kept competing, I wanted to compete, I looked forward to competition. After several tournaments, I started doing better. I started winning forms trophies and not getting beat in the first round of sparring. After several years of tournaments I started winning first place forms trophies and started winning more and more sparring matches (even placing first at times). And, what do you know, in 2005 I won a forms championship and was the 2008 runner up for the forms championship! How about that. A lot learned since that green belt in 1987.

Now as a 5th degree, I've been attending tournaments for many years. I've competed in weapons and done well. I've trained 3 World Champions. I'm a member of our region's tournament staff, a group of officials who work to make the tournament run smoothly by enforcing rules and fixing problems. I still compete, too. And I still get a little nervous before each competition. But, having come this far, I know that with each "failure" comes some future success and with each success comes more success.

So, for my students and the people that know me and read this, I challenge you to find the success in any failure. I challenge you to move outside your comfort-zone and try something new, something different, something you've been avoiding. When you do, you may have instant success, instant achievement - so keep on going, find more success!

Or when you do, you may NOT have instant success, you might flop or flounder, or do OK. If that's the case, look hard for that elusive - sometimes tiny - positive thing that will help you to build your future successes >> even if it's the relief and satisfaction of just knowing that it didn't kill ya!